My faith journey so far.

 

Hey y'all!

It's Wednesday morning, Happy Wednesday! It is also Holy Week. I honestly never paid much attention to Holy Week. It was all about the main event...Easter, and a big ol' chocolate bunny (hollow preferred please). BUT, this year my faith is not renewed...it is REAL. 

Backstory:

I was born on a Sunday and pretty sure I was in church the Sunday after. I grew up in church, Church of Christ. My Granddeddy, Great-Granddeddy, and Great-Great Granddeddy were preachers there. It was, and still is a super tiny country church. No music, just voices. While the people in that church loved me, and my sister, fully and warmly...I never felt warm and "comfy" there. Some people say you don't need to feel comfy at church, and I disagree. While I don't think badly of that church, and some may feel totally comfy there, it isn't for me now. 

I also went to a private Christian School from the time I was 5 til I graduated High School. Again, while there were certain teachers that I LOVED, and were kind and warm, and welcoming...the school as a whole wasn't that way. 

I know the hearts of that church and school were in the right place...and I'm sure still are. They just want to help others come to know and love God. For me though, they didn't approach it right.

So once I turned about 18/19 I stopped going to church. It felt like a chore. I didn't enjoy it at all y'all. I felt that a lot of people in the church were fake, judgmental, and I just didn't like the vibe. So I didn't step foot in another church (except maybe once or twice when I felt I needed to to make my family happy). 

That is until last Sunday. And when I tell you it was different, y'all it was different, in the BEST way.

After I turned 30, got pregnant with our oldest, God started working in and around me...or probably I just started actually noticing, because He is always working. Then my Deddy passed away in early 2022 when I was pregnant with our second. I really started noticing God more and more. His grace and love and compassion. I started feeling this tug to seek Him. I started by putting Bodhi in a Summer VBS with my church. (I wasn't a member but I felt like it was my church. It's the church I was called to, even then), then volunteering for a back to school event with the church to give haircuts. Then I started watching live streams of their 11am service on Sundays albeit sporadically.

THEN I was sitting on the couch one day, the boys were napping and God told me to reach out to a woman named Aleah. She was a teacher at my school, and an associate pastor at my church, and just an amazing, Godly, kind, comforting woman...and she has always been a big influence in my life, although she may not know that..I should tell her. So I texted her about a small group, then I joined a small group. The ladies were kind but it was during our family dinner time and it just didn't work with my schedule really. However that study was beautiful and prompted me to buy more studies, more resources, and I became enthralled y'all. God called and I listened. Then I dove in and I'm joyfully swimming in the waters.

I cannot explain it better, I wish I could but God really just kept working, because He wanted me to live with Him. I finally listened and boy I'm glad I did. The peace I have now. The joy in every day, every little thing about life, life in Him. It's supernatural. 

After chatting with my counselor Brandy...also the Co-Pastor of my church, and doing my Bible studies and praying...I gave my worries to God, asked the Holy Spirit for strength and peace and comfort...and after several weeks of live streaming, I went to the Palm Sunday service at Church at the Crossing. From the moment I stepped out of my car and was greeting by another sweet older lady getting out of her car at the same time, my anxiety lessened. It instantly felt warm, welcoming, comfy. I truly felt comfortable there. I FELT the Holy Spirit, I teared up during worship, I felt peace and love and joy and comfort. I found my church, my family in Christ. I found myself, my true self as I was created to be. 

I want to share my experience in the hope that it may help even one person. The church I grew up in, while still filled with love wasn't for me. I lost my way and was turned off for over a decade...longer if I'm being completely honest. But I opened up my heart and found my purpose, and peace in God. Don't give up. God loves you. Jesus is alive...for me and you! Amen?

Reach out to me if you ever need a friend, someone to talk to, or just listen. If you aren't ready to go to church that is okay! I share bits and pieces on my social channels, mainly Instagram (@eatprayvacay) daily...and Church at the Crossing does live stream services every Sunday at 11am! Dip your toes in, I think you'll be happy you did!

Love,

Mary-Morgan